This can lead to sons taking their mothers for granted and forgetting to show them appreciation. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-portrait-2','ezslot_23',161,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-portrait-2-0'); As shown above, sons who suffer from mental disorders or illness may have irrational and negative feelings towards their mothers, affecting their long-term relationship. 20 Fun & Memorable Christmas Activities For Kids, How To Deal With Entitled Stepchildren: 9 Ways To Harmonize With Your New Family, How To Motivate A Teenager Who Doesnt Care: 14 Ways To Re-invigorate Your Child. This type of abuse can lead to anxiety and depression in the son. He may also feel that she is too controlling in how she handles his life, which can make him feel suffocated by his mother. Parents must understand the difference between these two scenarios so that they can take steps toward having a healthy relationship with their son if necessary and move past any problems that might arise between them in the future. 6. This is certainly not typical of someone neglectful or abusive, and worthy of hatred. They all get the same attention and affection and are encouraged to do the same things in life. Many mothers find that the precious boy who used to cuddle up to them is now a source of constant arguments, disagreements, and contention. Instead, years of suppressing negative emotions may affect the males development and ability to establish intimacy in future relationships. 1. The mother is overbearing and controlling. Mothers should talk to their sons gently. Or perhaps she has nurtured him to her greatest ability. A manipulative, overprotective, abusive, or controlling mother makes for a toxic relationship between a mother and son. They may have this hate due to a controlling mother; physical or mental abuse; a mother overstepping boundaries; or being treated differently than a sibling. Control is also evident when mothers make decisions for their children without consulting them first. There is also not an exact description of the personality traits behind sons who hate their mothers. When this happens, children tend to distance themselves from their parents because they no longer feel loved or respected by them. This is the conundrum. In that case, this may be a sign of a harmful relationship between both parties. He knows that she cares about him more than anyone else, so he acts out to get her attention, even if its negative attention. Required fields are marked *. You should also encourage him to express his feelings in a respectful way. In conclusion, it is clear that sons who treat their mothers poorly are likely to have a number of underlying issues. When sons are mean to their mothers, it takes a toll on her emotionally and mentally. We can spend all day listing everything our mothers do for us and how much they mean to us. Maybe shes more of a helicopter parent, always hovering and controlling. Interactions with your mom can be a . He doesnt talk about his mother with others in his relationships. If theyre hanging around with the wrong people or seeing this kind of disrespect take place elsewhere, it could affect them. The mother makes the son feel guilty for doing things without her. Showing little or no respect for her boundaries, opinions, and feelings. If a mother is treated poorly by her son, its essential to understand that it is not always the mothers fault. This can lead to arguments because the son feels they are being lied to by their mother and starts believing they cannot trust her anymore. Unresolved Emotional Issues; Not Mature Enough; Childhood Trauma; Reacting to A Controlling Mother; Being Influenced by Others; Tips for Creating a Healthy Mother-Son Relationship. The son may feel like he cant live up to his mothers expectations or that he must take care of her emotionally. She involves herself in her sons personal relationship business. Disclaimer regarding normal parent-child roles: There is the exception of the changing child-parent relationship when the parent is aging and the child takes on a care-giver identity akin to parenting. How To Survive Financially As A Single Mom: 13 Actionable Tips To Fewer Money Woes! 0. A majority of moms also believed their child's mental health or addiction issues played a role. One of the most common rules kids learn from parents regardless of culture and background is to not tell lies, so it comes as a shock when it seems your own mother is doing it. But we all make mistakes, and its how you deal with them and try to fix them that matters. Mothers should consider speaking to their sons about whats happening and why its not OK for them to treat them this way. Sons who hate their mothers may exhibit the following traits: Aggressive behavior Avoidance and detachment in relationships Distrust of females Emotional issues in childhood and in adult life What's tricky to comprehend, though, is that a son from an abusive mother will just as likely love her as hate her. A 15-year-old boy brings home his school report. You can also get psychological or medical advice from professionals who can help you recover from this harmful behavior! In some cases, sons may even verbally or physically abuse their mothers if they are feeling particularly angry or frustrated. But when that tension turns into a feeling of always falling short, it might be time to take a closer look at the relationship. No one deserves to be treated poorly, no matter the circumstances. eval(ez_write_tag([[120,600],'ciprofamily_com-box-4','ezslot_13',197,'0','0']));eval(ez_write_tag([[120,600],'ciprofamily_com-box-4','ezslot_14',197,'0','1']));.box-4-multi-197{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}This article will explore the reasons why some sons treat their mothers poorly and offer advice on how to break the cycle. When a mother has problems or issues, she will blame her son for it even though he did nothing wrong. No child should feel like she runs the household and that her parent or caretaker is there to serve her. This is a severe issue that should be dealt with immediately. If you must give criticism, do so constructively and without belittling your son. Its important to set healthy boundaries when it comes to parent-child relationships. But this can lead to many problems between a mother and son because he will feel like she is always right. Sons can also feel suffocated by mothers who are overly involved in their lives. Renowned clinical psychologist and respected university professor, Jordan B. Peterson, has addressed the mother-son relationship extensively via professional talks and books. Some online communities also provide access to various forums where parents can connect with other parents going through similar experiences. Be careful not to overreact when your son makes a mistake. The people youre son (and anyone) chooses to hang around with have a huge impact on their lives, its something to take very seriously. In some cases, this behavior may be a cry for help. Some personality disorders can cause a person to have a warped perspective on themselves and others. A man's relationship with his mother will differ from a significant other relationship / casual dating situation. It's unclear where the saying originated, but it permeates the relationship advice culture for women. The children from mothers who were avoidant, anxious, or ambivalent did not rely on their mothers for support. A bossy mother will often want to know where her son is at all times, what hes doing, and who hes spending time with. After logging in you can close it and return to this page. Read More: How To Get Kids To Do Chores Without Nagging? Related Has your son never had a girlfriend? Let them donate toys they dont need. Therefore, the sons feel the mothers dont have faith in them as adults, or of their ability to make good decisions. Mothers who control their sons to an extreme degree may end up hurting how their sons will control their very own emotions in the future. What does this constant meddling say about sons who hate their mothers? And believe me the biggest regret is having mistreated your own mother. He sees how you react to situations and learns from your example. It can also be a way for the mother to control her son and make sure hes always including her in his plans. She may also cause him to feel like shes trying to control his life. This kind of behavior can hurt the sons mental health and affect his life as an adult. How To Baby Proof Your Christmas Tree, Because Safety Doesnt Have To Be Complicated! This possessive behavior can hurt a sons feelings towards his mother as well as his own psychological development. If a son does not learn to treat his mother with respect, he will likely carry this disrespect into future relationships. The males who cut off contact with their mothers listed the following reasons for their estrangements:if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-2','ezslot_19',158,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-2-0'); From the parents side, having a better understanding of their sons point of view was a key factor. The son may feel like his mom doesnt understand or care about him. If necessary, mothers must not hesitate to reach out to law enforcement if they feel like they are in danger. An overly controlling mother is also someone who wants to have the final say in how her son lives his life. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-3','ezslot_14',154,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-3-0'); One of the main reasons a son will hate his controlling mother is because of the guilt she constantly makes him feel. It also helps him understand that making mistakes is natural, so he wont feel as bad about his slip-ups. This could send him the wrong message and make him think that his actions dont hurt or affect anyone, which is not true. Sons may grow resentful of this and react in a negative manner toward their mothers. She's hoping her experience with parenting and everything in between can help other moms navigate the complex world of motherhood. From what they wear to who they date, sons can feel like they cant do anything without their mothers approval. Please love your mother too. What constitutes a negative relationship with one's mother is a fairly broad set of possibilities, and some negative relationships are . Its important to note that mothers are not always aware of their own abusive tendencies, so be sure to speak up if shes being cruel or neglectful. . When it comes to mothers and sons, its not uncommon for there to be a bit of tension. The Mother Might Have a Relationship with Another Man The son might have a father figure in his life who isn't his biological father. If it does not resolve, it can feel like a death. Poorly Seasoned Cast Iron - How to Tell and Fix. When he comes home from school, dont just ask him what happened todayask him how he feels about it. Theyre also hurting their mothers, who are often the closest people to them in the world. Even in these situations, though, the child still treats the parent deferentially and the parent continues to think of the child in his appropriate role. An overly controlling mother may lead sons to hate them. Set Healthy Boundaries; Work on Communication; Own Any Mistakes You've Made; Be Patient and Don't Hold a Grudge Some signs that a son may continue to have problems with his maternal relationship when he develops his own mature, adult relationships later in life include: As well, there are signs from a mother that could lead to her son hating her: The more a mother may interfere or complain about a sons relationship, the more he will resent and even hate her. It can be a source of strength and support or, alternatively, a source of stress and tension. A son who has a destructive relationship with his mother will likely have an unhealthy relationship with others. It is also considered a normal way of parenting for mothers who have endured the same behavior from their own mothers. This way, they can mend their relationship. This can lead to anxiety and feeling suffocated by the relationship. It is also important to keep in mind that being a grown-up requires a great deal of responsibility, and it takes time to develop the skills required for adulthood. Dysfunctional mother-son relationships can be challenging to overcome, but with the right support and guidance, they can become healthy and loving again. In these situations, the son may be left feeling confused and angry. It will make him feel like he is not good enough or has done something wrong. This may mean that they dont talk about important things with each other or that they dont spend much time together talking at all. Spouse Substitute. The sons actions can include: Sons who treat their mothers poorly arent just hurting themselves. Looking the other way is allowing abuse to happen on your watch. The son ends up resenting this behavior and his mother. How to Travel Confidently During Your Period? Many sons feel that their mothers try to control every aspect of their lives. However, this type of mother can also be overbearing. Not showing her love or affection as a mother. You might have heard the old saying, Mother knows best. But why do some sons have difficulty listening to or respecting their mothers? Instead it takes two to raise a healthy, happy son: a mother and a father. eval(ez_write_tag([[320,50],'ciprofamily_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_12',600,'0','0']));This list is by no means exhaustive, but it provides a starting point for those who are looking to improve their relationships with their mothers. This is a complex situation of factors ranging from neglectful parenting to early childhood attachment problems to mental illness. If these issues are not resolved, this can cause them to lash out at their mothers and others around them. This is exacerbated when the issue goes untreated. He may have trouble forming healthy romantic relationships or maintaining friendships. A child should not take on the parent role in the mother-son relationship. This relationship between a mother and son is full of frustration and anger. If possible, schedule the meeting in the evening or on a weekend. This connects to another aspect about sons who hate their mothers: relationships, which well look at next. The hateful son might feel like his mother is attacking him, or he might feel like shes always putting him down. If the mother disrespectfully treats her son, he will develop feelings of resentment and hatred toward his mother. First, try to avoid criticism. Its important to talk to him about his past experiences and help him process them in a healthy way. Adult sons are often influenced by these medias depiction of men as powerful and dominant, which can cause them to feel like they need to fit that image. A mother may wonder how her son could hate her after she gave birth to him. Disrespecting boundaries may start at a young age and continue through adulthood. These fights can happen daily, and if they arent handled well, they can become the primary way mothers and sons talk during adolescence. This may be because shes always critical of him or because she doesnt really listen to him. According to HUD, on any given night there's an estimated 580,000 homeless people, a staggering number, so what do you do when your son is one of them? This will bolster the young child's ego. They want to be perfect in their eyes. Its important that you and others are there for your son if he needs someone to talk to about any issues hes experiencing. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_17',156,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0'); If a son already has animosity towards his mother from childhood, this will worsen in adulthood. This type of behavior can be extremely harmful to the son, as it can lead to him feeling suffocated and unable to live his life the way he wants to. Mothers always put their children first and are always there for them, even when they dont deserve it. Its crucial to be patient with your son and not hold grudges, no matter how difficult hes being and how hes treating you. Contrary to what Hillary Clinton said, it does not actually take a village. This can lead to a cycle of poor treatment and resentment. When your mother treats you like a child and tries to control every aspect of your life, its a sign that shes abusing her role as a parent. Yet even with proper coping mechanisms employed, the relationship is strained when mental issues are involved. I dont purport to be the perfect mother, but I, like most moms, have tried to be as good of a mom as I know how. You want to set boundaries for him and make sure he treats you with respect, but at the same time, you might have trouble letting go of the idea that he will always be a child and that any behavior is justwhat kids do.. Jackie Booe is a Catholic mother of four, grandmother ("Oma") to two, and wife to Mat since 1994. In the United States, it is estimated that one in four sons will treat their mothers poorly. He might feel like he doesnt know how to relate to women because the woman who raised him made him feel uncomfortable around her. Make no mistake about it, abuse does not have to be physical. Therapy can be a great tool to help work through issues and get to the root of the problem. However, there are some commonalities we can zero in on that help us better understand the extreme reaction of hate from some sons towards their mothers. He needs to make mistakes and learn from them, which he cant do if youre constantly scolding him or telling him what to do. Engages in horrific boundary-breaking. The result can be a deep feeling of inadequacy and insecurity. And no one thing always means sons will love or hate their mothers. Much of what they describe, while conflict-laden and uncomfortable, doesn't seem bad enough . Whatever the reason, its important to remember that no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Mothers must try not to get angry as they write the letter. This can be evidenced by the son constantly seeking approval from his mother or always feeling like he has to live up to her expectations. Constantly making fun of her and belittling her in front of others. Mothers should talk to their sons gently. While a person is not at fault for their own mental illness or personality disorders, they can become burdensome on relationships, causing irrevocable damage. Some mothers feel that they are always right, so there is no need to apologize. Trey was a major mama's boy, whose mommy came over to take care of him when he had the flu, rubbing Vicks Vapor Rub on his chest, as Charlotte stood in the doorway horrified. The son might start to resent his mother and feel like he cant do anything without her permission. Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. (5 Reasons). When a son mistreats his mother, it can be hard to know how to respond. There are unhealthy mother-son relationships where the mother will replace the relationship she should have with her partner for an emotional one of the same kind with her son. How did a loving mother-son relationship become hateful? When a son grows up in an abusive household, their relationship with their mother is often strained. For the most part, the first thing Ive learned about sons who hate their mothers is that there is not a one-size-fits-all reason behind it. First and foremost, try to have a conversation with your son about why he is behaving this way. If you are a son who treats your mother poorly, it is important to seek professional help to address the root of your problem. This can lead sons to resent and disrespect their mothers for what seems like no good reason at all! As a result, the son becomes arrogant and eventually disrespects his mother. This reason is related to #2. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-1','ezslot_18',157,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-1-0'); Sons need to feel that their mothers believe in them. When a Man Has a Bad Relationship With His Mother. This makes it difficult for the son to trust his mother because he will always doubt whether or not he has done a good or bad thing. This can lead to feelings of jealousy and competition, as well as resentment and anger. Step 1. The mother may be too critical of her son, making him feel she does not respect him. We are parents of four (one with several special needs) and have been married since 1994. He becomes upset with any family involvement or references. Another way to help sons understand how much their behavior hurts is for their mothers to write them letters. When you see him being kind or giving, praise him. Make sure you listen to what he has to say and take the time to really understand where hes coming from. Many times, a son will hate his mother because she is continually crossing boundaries, criticizing, and disrespecting his choices. The son might have a father figure in his life who isnt his biological father. If your mom knew or heard step dad's comments and didn't try to stop him, she is abusive too. Many sons treat their mothers poorly and make their life miserable. When he feels comfortable talking with you about the things that matter to him, hell be more likely to open up about other things, toolike when something might be bothering him or if something is going on at school. Its also important to talk to him about his feelings and how it makes him feel when you ask certain things of him. When a mother is constantly finding fault with her son, it creates an environment of tension and conflict. She has three degrees in the field of education, been department chair of several grade levels, and interim principal in Los Angeles. Its important to talk to them and provide guidance, but not in a way that is too forceful or overbearing. If you want your son to grow into a healthy young man with good self-esteem, then you need to give him room for growth. The mother is the first person who can teach her son how to respect other people. The son may have felt abandoned by his mother or that the mother was uninterested in him. Support is essential for a childs development and growth, no matter how old they are. She might demand that you live at home until youre 30 or tell you who to date and how to dress. He may also be unable to get along well with his siblings or other family members. If you are not sure that you are on the same page, ask your son to explain what he thinks you want and then tell him what you really want. There are many reasons why a mother would abuse her son, but it is almost always due to her own personal anger and frustration. 6 Ways To Keep The Zen! I have tried it all, name it. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_12',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); Oedipus Complex: Complex of emotions of the son around age 3-5 towards his mother that positively or negatively affects his future relationships depending on the attachments formed in his childhood environment (Source: Simply Psychology). Her and belittling her in his life as an adult guidance, but it permeates relationship... Son does not learn to treat his mother be treated poorly, no matter how they... To anxiety and depression in the mother-son relationship, which is not good enough or has done wrong., try to control every aspect of their lives happy son: a mother problems... Showing her love or affection as a professional life, career and executive coach more of a helicopter,. 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